Feeling a Bit like a Butterfly

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain." -BJ Gallagher

Every now and then we are blessed to meet certain people- be it our teachers, our neighbors, our families, and especially our children... and this week I find I'm even more grateful for the loving presence of so many people in my life. The above quote was one of the many acts of kindness I've been recipient of this week. It was sent to me on a morning that I woke to the sound of a beautiful bird singing...regardless of the tap-tap-tapping of the rain. Evidently the bird had a song to sing, and the rain was NOT going to stand in the way. I was the lucky one who got to listen.This is my darling Luke- my first born (by 9 minutes) son- Logan's twin brother. Five years ago today Lukey returned to be with our Father in Heaven. He was almost three...exactly the age Katie is right now. It's amazing how quickly life goes...and how some things just never change. We focus on what we know on this anniversary each year...hence our title 'Families Are Forever' day. I've written in the past about how special it is to know we need only 'to wait' (as in the date...2/8) to see Luke again...and what peace comes from knowing he's not gone forever. This year my focus seems to be on enjoying life as it is at this moment- dancing in the rain, if you will, and being who you're meant to be.
Things are going to be hard sometimes, and they are also going to be really great sometimes. Worrying about the 'ick' just makes things, well, ickier. :-) Missing Luke is still tough- even after this many years...but I find happiness in knowing He's safe in the arms of our Savior, being cared for until I can hold him again in mine.(Logan's in red, Luke's in white) When we moved to North Carolina and walked our new property, a yellow butterfly fluttered it's way through the trees right in front of me. Yellow was the one color Luke consistently recognized, so yellow has always reminded me of him. I know that little butterfly was there to remind me that Luke was always with us- whether in Arizona, Ohio, or North Carolina. How sweet it was to find this quote in my inbox this morning:

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." -Richard Bach

Sometimes I feel like the caterpillar...just wishing to curl up in my cocoon...but other times I want to be the butterfly and flutter far and wide sharing what I know that has made my life so much easier- especially in times where I've struggled with trials, pain, or sadness. I'm feeling a bit like the butterfly today, so I hope you won't mind if I share.

(Logan following behind Luke)

I know my Savior is Jesus Christ. I know He lives. I know He died that we may rid ourselves of our sins, pain, and difficulties. I've felt the peace that comes when I've prayed for Him to comfort me. I've felt the pain lessen when I've allowed Him to take it. I know families can be together forever and if we work hard to live according to the plan of our Heavenly Father, following the commandments, being baptized, and being sealed for eternity in the holy temple, we can and will be with all those we've lost to death. I know that death is not the end, but rather is just another step in a greater plan. I know the Book of Mormon is truly another testament of Jesus Christ- I know it to be the word of God, and I've seen firsthand the difference in my life as I study it alongside the Bible and try to follow the teachings they provide. I know the priesthood that existed in the time of Christ is on the earth today. I know that the Lord has called a prophet to guide us and direct us as this world grows further and further from the teachings found in the scriptures. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has the fullness of the gospel and it answers the questions, 'why am I here' 'what is life for' and 'what happens after we die.' I know that God will tell each of us for ourselves the truth of all things if we pray for those answers, believing we'll receive.

I offer this testimony not to offend in anyway, but to share with you what has guided me through tough times. This is just a tip of the iceberg, but I can assure you that accepting the will of God that Luke be taken from our family for now was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I do accept it, though. I truly believe we should follow the Savior's example as He prayed the words, 'Thy will be done.' I don't know exactly why it was His will to take Luke, but I know that as I've trusted that it truly was His will, there have been many, many blessings in my life- all of which I attribute to our Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Our Father in Heaven wants us to be happy...and today, as I act more like a butterfly than a caterpillar, I feel exactly that: happy.

Hug your loved ones today...and especially love those babies. They have lots to teach us, and it really only takes a moment to make a memory that will last forever.

In His name, Jesus Christ, amen.