Today is Families are Forever Day- the day we remember Luke (Logan's twin brother and my oldest son by 9 minutes) and celebrate that our family will be together again one day...oh how grateful I am for that! Luke passed away six years ago today a few months before he was to turn 3 of Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome- (www.sads.org), caused by Prolonged QT Syndrome.
I woke this morning happy. I feel peace, I feel gratitude, I feel overwhelming love from others and for others. Each year on February 8 has been different- some years I've been very sad, others I've felt indifferent, most have had moments of extreme sadness to extreme joy.
This year was just happy.
I love seeing little steps of healing take place...like when something that would have caused pain in the past happens and I realize it no longer invoked those same feelings. This year I found joy. I cried a few days ago, missing my little man Luke...but today, I just felt joy. 
I felt peace. I felt like it was ok to be happy today and truly celebrate that I will see him again and he is happy and near us often.
It's so freeing to trust in my Father in Heaven completely. To know that He is guiding all things and trusting in Him isn't blind faith...it's child-like faith.
In the Bible, we are told to have the faith of a child and today as I spent the entire day with my family- many one-on-one moments with each of my kids as well as time together,
I had the chance to see their childlike faith: their joy as we talked about their brother- their ecstatic jumping as they counted down to let go of Luke's balloons so he could catch them- their joyful expressions as they watched the balloons float away...
It was perfect. It was peaceful.
It was childlike faith at it's best. And today, as I tasted that childlike faith, I felt full of love and well-taken care of.
Life is just easier when you trust that there's a plan for you-
that you have a Father in Heaven who wants only the best for you, that you have a Savior who has already agreed to take upon Himself ALL your pain- ALL your sickness- ALL your sin...if you just let go and let Him.
I love my Savior, I love that there's a plan for us- that we can choose to live after the pattern Jesus Christ did and through His grace return and live with Him again.
Today, I feel joy. Thank you for the many kind words, prayers, and thoughts- know that your love has been felt. Hug your babies!!
xoxoCari
(Fun things to note: Tyler picked that balloon out on his own...perhaps he knows something we don't? Katie was a bit concerned Luke wouldn't like the 'Tangled' balloon she had picked until we explained that he would know immediately it was from her. Logan chose the soccer balloon but it escaped before we could snag a pic of him holding it. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, so opted out of the pics...however the 'chipmunk cheeks' are really non-existant. What was funny was that the boys assumed I meant I'd be small and furry for a few days when I told them I'd look like a chipmunk after surgery...not that my cheeks would be puffy. They were very relieved to see I still looked like mom. ha ha)
Happy Families are Forever Day!!
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10 comments:
YEAH!!!! Love Happy Days and Love you all! I too am glad you didn't turn into a small, furry rodent. Hope you feel better soon.
Thank you for sharing this with us all every year. I hope you don't mind, but I just found out that a friend of mine from BYU-Idado just lost his two year old daughter in a car accident that his wife and two children were in. I am going to send them the link. I'm amazed at the strength he is showing, but I know that your wonderful post will comfort them.
Your post is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, Cari! You are loved! Sweet Little Luke is one lucky kiddo to have you for a Mommy for eternity! You are truly amazing and have the best attitude about life and all that comes with it, no matter how hard! I Love and miss you!!
Ditto what others have said--beautiful post! Again--I totally admire your strength and your faith!!!
I love all the pics! And it made me giggle to see Tyler's choice of balloon...better get my A-game going. I wouldn't underestimate the intelligence of Tyler! :-) Love you guys! Happy Families are Forever Day!
Oh, I just LOVE those happy smiling faces and lifted heavenward eyes of your sweet family!!! That image of a chipmunk Cari made me smile too! Perception is everything, isn't it? So is perspective and I'm always impressed with yours....miss you like crazy!
-I still have to tell you this dream I had about you like a half a year ago now. -Maybe one day you'll answer the phone when I call.
I'm glad that having your wisdom teeth out didn't made your face fuzzy! Too funny!! I love how literal kids are!
Thank you for your testimony.
Thank you Cari for sharing so openly the things that you know to be true. xxoo
Thanks Cari. This gives me hope for the future. I'm so happy it was a day of happiness. I think about your kids and the example you've been to them about looking to God and how their knowledge of The Plan of Salvation is strengthened by your example. Beautiful.
oh, Cari! I miss visiting with you! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and testimony for us. the 15th is my brother Joe's birthday and we plan to send off balloons with a prepaid postcard to us of him attached to see how far he will fly and if any come back to us. My little man Cameron is 3 now and so many times I think of your boys as I watch him!
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