Loving Summer

Yep. I'm loving it. I loved it as a teacher, I love it as a mom. I wanted to take a moment to write that I'm grateful for time I have with good friends, dear family, and sweet babies who may drive me slightly crazy at times but make life worth it. I love being a mom. I love being a wife. I love serving the youth in our church. I love summer break. I love walking our new dog Zeus. I love watching my kids play soccer. I love riding down waterslides with the boys. I love playing dolls with Katie. I love lazy evenings where I can sit cuddled up with my honey. I love looking back over the life James and I have created and knowing we're doing our best to make it a good one. Life is good. Hope summer is just as happy for you!

Feeling a Bit like a Butterfly

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain." -BJ Gallagher

Every now and then we are blessed to meet certain people- be it our teachers, our neighbors, our families, and especially our children... and this week I find I'm even more grateful for the loving presence of so many people in my life. The above quote was one of the many acts of kindness I've been recipient of this week. It was sent to me on a morning that I woke to the sound of a beautiful bird singing...regardless of the tap-tap-tapping of the rain. Evidently the bird had a song to sing, and the rain was NOT going to stand in the way. I was the lucky one who got to listen.This is my darling Luke- my first born (by 9 minutes) son- Logan's twin brother. Five years ago today Lukey returned to be with our Father in Heaven. He was almost three...exactly the age Katie is right now. It's amazing how quickly life goes...and how some things just never change. We focus on what we know on this anniversary each year...hence our title 'Families Are Forever' day. I've written in the past about how special it is to know we need only 'to wait' (as in the date...2/8) to see Luke again...and what peace comes from knowing he's not gone forever. This year my focus seems to be on enjoying life as it is at this moment- dancing in the rain, if you will, and being who you're meant to be.
Things are going to be hard sometimes, and they are also going to be really great sometimes. Worrying about the 'ick' just makes things, well, ickier. :-) Missing Luke is still tough- even after this many years...but I find happiness in knowing He's safe in the arms of our Savior, being cared for until I can hold him again in mine.(Logan's in red, Luke's in white) When we moved to North Carolina and walked our new property, a yellow butterfly fluttered it's way through the trees right in front of me. Yellow was the one color Luke consistently recognized, so yellow has always reminded me of him. I know that little butterfly was there to remind me that Luke was always with us- whether in Arizona, Ohio, or North Carolina. How sweet it was to find this quote in my inbox this morning:

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." -Richard Bach

Sometimes I feel like the caterpillar...just wishing to curl up in my cocoon...but other times I want to be the butterfly and flutter far and wide sharing what I know that has made my life so much easier- especially in times where I've struggled with trials, pain, or sadness. I'm feeling a bit like the butterfly today, so I hope you won't mind if I share.

(Logan following behind Luke)

I know my Savior is Jesus Christ. I know He lives. I know He died that we may rid ourselves of our sins, pain, and difficulties. I've felt the peace that comes when I've prayed for Him to comfort me. I've felt the pain lessen when I've allowed Him to take it. I know families can be together forever and if we work hard to live according to the plan of our Heavenly Father, following the commandments, being baptized, and being sealed for eternity in the holy temple, we can and will be with all those we've lost to death. I know that death is not the end, but rather is just another step in a greater plan. I know the Book of Mormon is truly another testament of Jesus Christ- I know it to be the word of God, and I've seen firsthand the difference in my life as I study it alongside the Bible and try to follow the teachings they provide. I know the priesthood that existed in the time of Christ is on the earth today. I know that the Lord has called a prophet to guide us and direct us as this world grows further and further from the teachings found in the scriptures. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has the fullness of the gospel and it answers the questions, 'why am I here' 'what is life for' and 'what happens after we die.' I know that God will tell each of us for ourselves the truth of all things if we pray for those answers, believing we'll receive.

I offer this testimony not to offend in anyway, but to share with you what has guided me through tough times. This is just a tip of the iceberg, but I can assure you that accepting the will of God that Luke be taken from our family for now was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I do accept it, though. I truly believe we should follow the Savior's example as He prayed the words, 'Thy will be done.' I don't know exactly why it was His will to take Luke, but I know that as I've trusted that it truly was His will, there have been many, many blessings in my life- all of which I attribute to our Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.

Our Father in Heaven wants us to be happy...and today, as I act more like a butterfly than a caterpillar, I feel exactly that: happy.

Hug your loved ones today...and especially love those babies. They have lots to teach us, and it really only takes a moment to make a memory that will last forever.

In His name, Jesus Christ, amen.

So Blessed

Awwww..... :-) This is my sweetie and me on a beach in California- an anniversary trip that was a perfect celebration of our 10 years (even if we are a few months early). We were able to go with some of our favorite people from AZ, so we spent the majority of the time laughing, dancing, and of course eating. (You can't NOT eat on a cruise....right ice cream fans?!) But my favorite part? Hanging out with my main squeeze for the entire week and knowing my kiddos were in very capable hands (aside from the fact that the city water main broke, school was canceled most of the week, and my dad was never able to join my mom due to the snow shutting down the airports....eek!)...well, it was heaven. I'm so grateful for a man that loves me no matter what, that doesn't mind how much I eat, or how I leave the vacuum cleaner out in the exact spot I stopped vacuuming. As I sat in church today, I couldn't help but think about how blessed I was to be sitting next to my best friend as we both sang, "I Believe in Christ." It is because of our Savior that all hearts can be healed and that we can return to live with Him again. How grateful I am for that knowledge, and for a man that shares in it.

Finishing the Race...and Finishing Strong

In December 2009, my mom invited anyone who wanted to join her to complete a half-marathon the following year. She had never competed in a race before, and this was going to be her year to accomplish that life-long goal. So, we signed up for a race to be held the following December. In January of 2010, I began my quest of "becoming a runner." I had never done anything beyond a 200m sprint as far as races go, and that was well over 10 years ago...so this idea of running not only a mile but THIRTEEN (and let's not forget that .1 miles that follows the 13...). Could I go from running pretty much never to running 13.1 miles within the required race time limits?

Well, I began slowly. A little every day...and I found I was getting stronger. Throughout our "couch potato to runner" training, my family would email one another our successes and our troubles...and as we continued one step at a time, we got stronger. We began doing things we didn't know we could EVER do. This fall as we were doing our final half-marathon training, we'd laugh when we realized we were happy for a long run that was only 6 miles long that week. Who would have thought we would be looking forward to running that distance EVER? :-) But we were. We were getting stronger.

When December rolled around, we were ready. We were excited, we were nervous...and we were going to do it. We were actually going to attempt to run 13.1 miles at one time. :-) Here we are minutes before the race began...it was pretty chilly, so we all have our warm gear on, but it was quickly thrown off within the first couple of miles. (Everything runners discard as they run is picked up and then donated to the homeless, so we happily tossed our warm gear.)

In this pic: me, my dad, my bro-in-law Marsh, my sis Rach, and my mom

We started off faster than usual...it's hard to keep that adrenaline under wraps! The excitement that surrounds you with 28,000 plus runners...well, it's just awesome! So we reminded ourselves we needed to calm down and find our comfortable paces that would take us 13.1 miles. I found lessons hidden throughout the race...so if you have time, you can read some of what I learned. :-) If not, just know we did it! :-)

The first 6 miles really were cake, to be honest. I beat my goal time for the 3 mile mark, so I was excited. The sights were fun, we laughed and just took it all in. We appreciated where we were, how hard we'd worked, that we were doing it as a family (Rach and I ran together most of the way), and took notice of the people around us. Lesson learned: If you focus outside yourself, you really can push through anything and not even realize that it may be difficult. Each time we'd feel an ache or pain, tired, etc., we'd pray for the rest of our fam. It was amazing to be so focused on everything but me.

Mile seven got a little tougher...but still doable. Unfortunately my music kicked off at this point, so I ended up wasting about a mile running WAY too slow while trying to fix it... and the lesson I learned: If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear. I should have had my music set up in a manner that I was good at manipulating so my focus could be on the task at hand and NOT on figuring out my new phone and how to make it play music. I will forever regret that I blew this mile...it cost me my goal time, and that really bums me out (but leaves me reason to do another, which I will certainly do.)

Mile eight and nine were ok- my music was back on, and I was able to look around. There was a runner who'd been near me most of the race that was starting to struggle, so I was able to chat with her a bit and wish her well. I headed on and happily enjoyed my run. It was hard, but good. Lesson learned: just keep on keepin on. If you focus on things to annoy you (sticky road at the drink stations, the Elvis runner who insisted on jogging with his stroller he had filled with a radio to blast Elvis tunes as he ran, etc.), you'll find them...but if you focus on the good stuff (the gorgeous weather, the gift of a healthy body, the support of a loving family, the comfort of your lucky shoes), you'll find that too. So I focused on the good...and it was good!

Mile ten was getting hard- I felt like I was heading into the unknown as I past that mile marker because I had never run further than 10 miles in my training. How would I do? Would I be able to do it? I was filled with questions and uncertainty...and the difficulty seemed to be getting greater. But I changed my mind. I could do this. I WAS doing it! So I realigned my thoughts to the positive. I had faith that the end really was coming...and I really was going to do finish. Lesson learned: faith will see you through. When you question and doubt, the road gets tough. When you focus on the end...you soar.

Mile eleven: panic attack. At mile eleven I ran out of water. I always carry a water bottle with me when I run. Because of that, I'd been drinking from my water bottle as necessary, and using the drink stations only when I felt like grabbing a cup. I didn't need to- I had my own water...right?! Lesson learned: Accept help when it's offered...you have no idea when you're going to need the strength you saved by letting someone help you.

Mile eleven continues: I had no idea the drink stations are much less prevalent on the second half of the course...so I started to panic. I'll die without water. I NEED water. What am I going to do?! How could I drink all my water?! After about half a mile of berating myself for not being careful and making use of the drink stations as I went, I decided to call James. I called as I ran. He picked up quickly and I told him I didn't know if I could do it. He told me he was proud of me and that he knew I could do it. That's all I needed to hear. I needed to remember I wasn't alone. Lesson learned: We're never alone- we just have to call. Doesn't this fit nicely with our need to pray? We have been given a way to chat with our Father in Heaven whenever we want to! We just have to stop and pray... He knows us better than we know ourselves...and He knows we can do it.

Mile twelve: "Winners train, losers complain." "I run so I can eat." "Find your happy pace." "Finishing IS winning." "Courage to start, Faith to finish." So many inspirational t-shirts surrounded me as I ran- and this is the mile I actually focused on them. No longer was I staring at the sights around me...I'd hadn't seen them since about mile seven...but in mile 12 I was no longer staring at my feet and the pavement. I started to look up again. I remembered the first half of the race and how much I enjoyed the sights and my surroundings, so I started to focus on them again. It WAS beautiful...still. There was water at this point as well...which helped me regain my focus and stop freaking out about dehydration. Lesson learned: Look up! If you're looking down you can't see all the amazing people surrounding you, cheering you on, wishing for you to do better. If you look up you'll see that you're not the only one dealing with trials in life. In fact, there may even be a few people who have it harder than you...which is hard to remember when in the middle of something tough, but it's true. Perhaps there's someone who needs YOUR help!

Mile thirteen: are my knees bending backward?! I swear my legs were going to fall off at my hips... I can breathe fine, but I'm pretty sure my body is just going to bust into a million pieces like the characters on Lego Star Wars. I decided to walk to rest a bit...but that seemed even harder. So I ran. I could see the final hotel and I knew the finish line was just beyond it...but I couldn't see the finish line. Was this ever going to end?! And then a spectator yelled out, "just two more lights and you're in the chute." Just what I needed to hear. I really was going to finish. There really was a finish line...and a chute! How fun to think I'd get into the chute and then I'd be done! :-) I was really doing it. I was accomplishing what I'd set out to do an entire year before...and I was going to be strong to the end! Lesson learned: You never know how much your words affect others. That man that yelled out encouragement will never know how much I appreciated his excitement that we were almost done. He was excited...and that made me excited! Our words, our actions, our thoughts- they affect us in ways we don't often recognize...and they affect others as well. How much more wonderful this world would be if we could all focus on spreading positive energy instead of focusing on the negative that surrounds us.

The End: I did it. I threw my hands up, blew a kiss to the camera (for my family watching at home), and ran across that line. I proudly accepted my medal, and set out to find the water. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I had finished what I started...and I finished strong. Oh how I hope that at the end of my life I can look back and think, 'Not only did I finish, I finished strong.'

Seeing my family: As I walked past toward the exit, I saw my dad and Marsh. We did it! I called James...he was so proud that I did it! :-) Rach joined us...she did it! :-) And then I saw my mom. Tears just came- I couldn't help it. My mom, who'd worked so hard to push herself and motivate us...who'd never been in a race in her life... had a medal hanging proudly around her neck. She didn't just finish her first race, she finished STRONG at exactly her goal time. I was SO proud of her. So grateful for her. I'm so glad we had this opportunity to do it together...to not just finish, but finish strong. If it hadn't been for her, we wouldn't be standing here with a gigantic accomplishment behind us.

I don't know if we'll all do another together or not (I hope so!), but if not, this race changed my life. As I've hit hard things since the race (ex: packing the house, moving right before Christmas, moving in, deep cleaning to leave the house move-in ready, etc.), I find myself thinking, 'it's just mile 11...push through...water's at mile 12 and the end is just around the corner...' and it is. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. :-)

Merry Christmas!!

What to Worry About

I had the most AMAZING trip this weekend. My hubby's been out of town for a training for a couple of weeks and I got to see him this weekend!! All week I'd been preparing. My whole drive was to do the things that I knew would matter to him so I could report my successes at our reunion and get a compliment or two. I was overjoyed to be able to jump in his arms to hear compliment after compliment on my job well done. He knows me and my need for compliments well. :-)
As I sat in church on Sunday, I was overwhelmed with a feeling that this lesson went deeper. I thought about my Savior and my time on this earth- 100 years or so total if I'm lucky. So where should my focus really be? If I do the things God would be pleased with, then the other things that don't get done won't really matter. But what I've found this past couple of weeks is that when I do the things I believe my Father in Heaven wants me to do (read my scriptures, pray, be kind to others, teach my children lovingly, etc.) the extra things DO get done.
Life is just easier.

So what should I worry about? I think I'll try to spend more time worrying about devoting the time I have now to doing what the Lord wants me to do. Certainly if I focus on Him, He'll guide me to complete what needs to be done. And maybe when I get to the end of my 100 years or so, I can have a similar reunion with my Savior to the one I had this past weekend...a big hug with welcoming arms and if I've earned it, a 'job well done' compliment.
ps...this is one of the images I came across around the time Luke passed away. I love it. I like to think this is the way it was when Luke reunited with our Savior. :-)

Favorite moments

Down through the woods and out to the pasture
'Long as I'm with you it really don't matter...
If you know the song "Big Green Tractor" you know why I couldn't resist getting a pic riding on one with my main squeeze. I love that song! Just about as much as I love my man.

Logan LOVED soccer this year...check out the determination of this little guy! I had a blast cheering for him!!
An action shot after an awesome kick...do you see fear in the other team?! :-)
Katie and her best friend Mallory sat on top of a pumpkin at Young's Dairy together. There is nothing sweeter than seeing these two little girls give each other a hug hello. It's the cutest thing!!
Logan being silly on the tractor wheel. Remember as a kid how fun it was to climb on, hang on, jump off, just about anything you could find?! Logan said he's strong enough to do this because he does 9 push ups every day. :-) He's the coolest.
James and a bunch of his work buds. So, so proud of my man! A man in uniform at that...
I love this sweet little girl SO much! Katie loves to say 'payer'. Listening to a little one pray is the absolute best.
Tyler is my delight in the morning. Seriously- he's the happiest kid I've ever met when he wakes up... nothing like a big friendly smile to greet your day! Sometimes if he can't find me he'll whistle for me...or rather he whistles a nice little tone and I respond. :-) My grandpa used to whistle for my grandma, too...so that makes the fact that Tyler does it even more of a treat. :-)

So these are just a few of my favorite moments in the past few weeks....hope you enjoyed as well!

Happy Halloween!

Have you ever seen a cuter Dorothy? Me neither. :-)
Logan and Katie were more into getting pics than Tyler...unfortunately this was taken before Logan's hair was "Wolverined" and Katie had red bows, but it's still adorable!
Here the kiddos are playing out in the leaves after the Halloween party. I love how happy Logan and Tyler are in this picture!
Balloon animals galore...who know you could make a balloon dragon?! The lady wasn't even phased when that's what the boys asked for. Wow. I would have replied, 'how about a nice doggie?' :-)
And here's the fam. James was an awesome sport wearing a crazy disco outfit I picked out for him. He's so much fun! The kids couldn't believe he grew his hair so fast. :-) Here's Tyler happily in his Flash costume, Logan as 'Wolverine' as they come...and my princess Katie as Dorothy. I dug through the old high school box to pull out my cheerleading uniform....go Trojans! :-) Hope your Halloweens are just as happy!