We made a trip to Georgia this weekend to place Luke's headstone. It's been a long time coming, but quite honestly I just couldn't have done it any sooner emotionally. By taking the time I did, I was able to design his stone exactly as I wanted, and get it perfect. It came out BEAUTIFULLY! You can't quite see the detail in this picture unless you click on it to view it full-size, so I'll describe it.
Luke absolutely LOVED trains. He would point out each and every time he heard one. One time in particular we were on our way to church and we had to stop for a train. Luke and Logan were ecstatic!!! They kept pointing at it, laughing, watching intently as it went by. Luke wanted to know where it was going, and we determined it was going to help someone, or deliver packages to someone- and who doesn't love to get a package?!
On a more difficult note, on the last night he was on earth as his little spirit slipped away, I heard a chorus of train whistles. I can describe it no other way- not just one train, but a CHORUS of trains. I knew my baby was safe, and would be until I saw him again in Heaven. As hard as giving him up was, the train whistles brought a moment of peace. Every time we hear a train, Logan says, "Luke's saying 'I love you!'" and I think he's right. Anyway, a train was a must.
On each car, I put Luke's nicknames. James called him, "Daddy's Buddy." I called him "Lukey," and Logan called him "Doot." (That was his attempt at 'Luke'- and Luke called him "Duh-Duh"- his attempt at Logan. ha ha) Next is his name and the dates, and finally I wanted to share our belief in eternal families, as that's the only reason we've been able to find peace through this whole thing. I wrote, "The next time we hold him, it will be forever."
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will see Luke again- and not just see him, but hold him, hug him, talk to him, and raise him. I am SO grateful that James and I were sealed for eternity, and that as long as we live worthy of these promised blessings, we WILL have our family together in heaven. I can't tell you how I look to the day when I will get to run toward those pearly gates and pick my sweet little Lukey up again- I imagine him running toward me just as fast as he used to with that big happy smile on his face and a giggle to match. I love him so much, and though placing that stone was hard, I know our separation is just for now. I will see him again. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have because of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I'm so grateful James shares this same knowledge, as this tragedy could have easily pulled us apart. He is such a strength to me, reminding me to keep an eternal perspective, thereby bringing peace and hope back when it slips away.
My hope is that we can raise our children to remember that the struggles and trials we have here are just for now, and our Savior is ready and waiting to take whatever pain or struggle we may have- we just have to give it to Him. And when you keep a larger perspective, it really is ok to smile.
So go hug your babies- and thank God for the blessings he's given you in your life. :-)
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17 comments:
You did a beautiful job! And what a powerful testimony! I felt it this far away! Thank you so much for sharing and for the reminder!
It looks Perfect Cari! I love you guys so much and I understand how the gospel helps in times like this. Hunter loves trains as well and was one of his first words. As I was reading what you wrote he came in the computer room and said "Oh, look train toot-toot" What perfect timing for him and his sweet little voice to be heard. I love you all so much and can't wait til christmas.
It turned out perfect. I love it. Cari you and James are an amazing example of hope, faith, and love. It's an honor to be your friend.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Beautiful and maybe you should warn us next time. Troy thought he had done something because I couldn't stop crying!! YOu are such an amazing example to all of us. I think of you guys often!
Cari - it is just absolutely PERFECT! You did a wonderful job designing it! I am so happy you guys have Luke's headstone done. For me, it was so much easier going to the cemetery once it was done. There was a lot of peace that came with it, for some reason. We love you guys and I am, as always, touched to hear your testimony and your faith! You always were able to make me think on a higher level and always uplift me! You continue to do that even though you live across the country. We love you guys!! And miss you tremendously!!!!!
The headstone looks perfect- you're right, the black and white train is awesome. I'm so glad it turned out just how you wanted! I, too, always think of Lukie when I hear a train!
Wow Cari. The headstone is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I have tears streaming down my cheeks. The headstone is gorgeous, it's just beautiful. I am astounded by your faith. I really wonder how people who have lost children get to your point, where they can smile again. The only thing I can think of is the atonement and the knowledge that families are forver. You are truly an example to me and to those around you. I loved watching you bring Luke and Logan into church each Sunday. Kendra loved Uke and Hogan. They are adorable. You are an amazing mom and an example to the rest of us moms.
I am always amazed by you. You make me remember what is truly important. The headstone looks awesome. Thanks for the reminder to hug my babies and count my blessings. Know that you are one of the things I "count" on a regular basis! Love ya...
What a sweetheart you are!
The headstone is perfect. I am glad it turned out so well. Thanks for sharing it with us.
I love how much thought you put into everything. Your testimony is so sweet and resonates with me as well. Isn't the Gosple wonderful? Thanks be to God for that knowledge.
What a sweet tribute and a wonderful thing to read as I start my day. I remember those two darling babies playing on the floor at your feet during church. I love your beuatiful testimony and your openess about your journey. Thank you so much for writing it where we can all benefit. The head stone is beautiful.
Thanks for your beautiful post! Your testimony and example is amazing! I love the darling headstone.
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing and living your testimony. You are a great example to all those around you. Good reminder at the beginning of this family week.
so sweet - thank you for sharing such sweet stories of your little Luke and I'm glad it's so perfect.
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